- Within 15 minutes of meeting one of our suppliers I referenced the fact that I had a vagina. Exact wording being ‘I am in possession of a vagina’. Not because he was staring at my adams apple a bit too hard, but, well, long story short Oprah made me do it. Luckily he laughed, but I get the feeling it was out of awkwardness, not amusement.
- Yelled at some butterflies for being stupid
- Woke up after a big night to find some mysterious orange pills sitting in my empty cigarette packet. Am hoping to solve the mystery tonight. Tomorrow morning I will either have better tolerance against the flu, or be convinced my hands are in fact electric eels.
- Laughed out loud at this photo
That bastard stole my catch phrase..
- Threatened to shove a co-worker who had a cast on his leg down the stairs at Taco Bill. What can I say, too many beans gets me stabby.
- Demanded my flatmate applied sunscreen to my back. As I was crouching down the spatial awareness area of my brain spazzed out and I got stuck mid-crouch. My bikini-clad ass waving in her face I said her “Is this weird? Anyway, it puts the lotion on my skin now please’’. I think she LUFS living with me.
- Sprayed curry all over my computer screen after choking while watching the below
