There are no words..

Actually, yes there are – here’s 208 of them:

• The inexplicable phone call that is never explained – OMGIT’SJUSTLIKETHEENDOFTHESOPRANOS!!1!!
• Stripper’s getting their faux-lesbian on by clumsily pawing at each other’s knees and fingertips. Am I missing something? Since when are knees and fingertips the new cli-oh never mind..
• Literal rap-dancing
• Awkward strippers dancing around the Melbourne Arts Centre forecourt  in what is clearly the middle of winter
• The ‘happening’ bar scene that is framed just wide enough for you to see the empty space all around the ‘banging’ ‘crowd’
• Couldn’t he have at least sprung for coloured water to go in the glasses of his friends? At least the Hummer Strippers got a third of a glass of Asti Spumanti to hold to their lips pretending to drink every now and then..
• Did he say ‘getting thrush in a rush’? I believe in literature terms that’s called  foreshadowing..

Not even going to start on the musical content, but will warn you need a full bottle of industrial strength Easy-Off BAM* to wipe the stain from your brain..

*FUN FACT: Easy-Off BAM is actually called Cillit Bang in other countries.. I’m not the only one who had to read that twice no? The more you know… (The less you read this blog)

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